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The Way Men Heal, by Thomas R. Golden
Free Ebook The Way Men Heal, by Thomas R. Golden
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The Way Men Heal is a concise book that offers insight into the masculine side of healing. Have you ever wondered why men and women seem to heal differently? If so, this is a book for you. It explains how and why men and some women heal in an active mode rather than an interactive one. It offers plenty of examples including Eric Clapton and how he healed after the death of his young son Conor, and Michael Jordan and how he healed after his father’s murder. You will see how these men and many others use action as a means to tell their story. You will see how they are pulled to the future and use honoring as a means to heal rather than the expected interactive “talking about the past” modes. You will see how those who use these modes do so in a way that is simply not easily detected. It is basically invisible. The book offers a section on how to help the men you love and also a section offering therapists clinical ideas for working with men. If you are a man, read this book to affirm your unique way of healing. If you are a woman, read this book to understand the men you love. When we understand each other our relationships flourish.
- Sales Rank: #311673 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-01-03
- Released on: 2013-01-03
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Tom Golden, LCSW is well known in the field of healing from loss. Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing has been acclaimed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and others. His latest book The Way Men Heal is a quick summary of the contents of the Snake book and an update on the latest developments. Tom enjoys giving workshops in the United States, Canada, Europe and Australia, having been named the "1999 International Grief Educator" by the Australian Centre for Grief Education. Drawing on thirty years of practical, hands-on clinical experience, Tom brings a gentle sense of humor and a gift for storytelling to both his workshops and his writing. His work and his web site webhealing.com have been featured in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and U.S. News and World Report, as well as on CNN, CBS Evening News, ESPN and the NFL Channel. Tom built the first interactive web site for bereaved people in 1995. webhealing.com. The page houses the internet's first memorial site A Place to Honor Grief. Both continue to function today. Tom has also built a membership video site that offers hours of videos on the topic of healing from loss and our many diferences. thewaymenheal.com An outgrowth of Tom's work with men was his realization of the misandry that our culture produces. He built a web site titled menaregood.com to house his writings on this serious problem. Tom maintains a private practice in Gaithersburg , MD and also enjoys doing online consultations
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Valuable Insight into The Way Men Heal
By Robert & Lori @ Leadership Couples
This is an easy to read book filled with both theory and practical applications. As I read from paragraph to paragraph, I found myself nodding and agreeing with so much I'd observed, but never put a label on.
The author suggests there are three categories of active grieving: creative action, practical action and thinking action. I appreciated how he structured the book, making it easy for me learn the theory and then translate that theory to understand the practical. The real-life examples and the concepts in Chapter 4, "Tips for Helping the Men You Love". were especially valuable.
I'll be referring back to this book many times, I'm sure. (and I've already suggested this book to someone else as a good resource)
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Powerful, Pragmatic and Delivers the Difference!!
By T. Ho Haryadi, MD, MBA
This book has a unique purpose: to fill a great need that is not clearly apparent to many, lay or professional. Men grieve differently from women, and from what the therapeutic establishment generally thinks and expects to treat, is the tip of an interesting iceberg of both treatment options and the reference model underneath it.
Most strikingly appealing to me is the broadly based sourcing of scientific and professional information used, presented in powerfully plain English that gets to the real points where it matters most, very usefully aimed at direct action and getting something real done "on the spot", both for personal insight, action and resolution as well as for use by professionals.
Readership should range from the grieving male and his significant others to therapeutic (program) design, and teaching, where a personal hands on experience from the start is particularly valued. A most powerful and pragmatic aspect of the core model is presented in a most digestible manner: The simultaneous processing of emotion through something other than emotion, which is accompanied by a wealth of insight and what I see as a model for psychobehavioral problem solving in general. The author illustrates three types of action in vivid detail, presenting as the external "other than emotion" typical male expression we can see, and the inaction version of that, as a backdrop for the typical vs recommended behavior that follows from loved ones as well as therapists. Following and leveraging nature rather than being out of sync with it is the effective outcome of this insight based action. It also makes the vital point that action helps "pull him(self) into the future", and not to "see healing as always being about completing the past".
A systematic read through shows an Intro that starts with a clear concept in pictures on the cover, which is well explained and serves as a good map for expectations. Combined with the table of contents, it forecasts a good reading plan and reflects a simple, powerful design.
It shows "the way" in a logical and common sense manner and demonstrates each specific interaction by actual illustration or story, using "definition by example" rather than a dry objective general description. It truly is an applied approach for immediate use by all readers in need of action and resolution.
There is rich background development yet plenty of room to grow oneself, as ideas and personal experience are opened up, leaving the reader feeling enabled and informed as well as encouraged to develop and go where doing-as-recommended takes us. The author shows highly talented use of creating common sense based development of scientific concepts that would make any reader not expertised in it feel fully informed. Another talented way to maximize impact was to weave experienced emotion into the moment, as an example the reader can personally feel right then, related to the process described. Media links help maximize this impact. Specific reference and further reading was made available in a way that did not distract from the point being developed.
The very natural flow of explanation and progression of concept, really taking things to step by step doing, makes for easy yet inspiring-to-action reading. A masterful and deceptively simple and naturalistic development of nested ideas, rooted in what clearly is a sophisticated and digested understanding and insight from many sources shows the maturity of three decades of experience and accomplishment, with many persons truly helped in real life.
In short: highly actionable through plain and simple transparency of a recommended principle.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Would have written it differently, but I'm not the author
By Karen Tiede
I have been lucky, perhaps, and haven't had a lot of loss in my life. Mostly, it's been pets who have died. My (male) partner and I have survived the loss of his father to old age, and the death of several shared dogs and cats, both expected and not.
A friend sent me The Way Men Heal because I have read a lot about grief and recovery. I found it very useful and insightful. I know my partner has responded to our shared losses differently than I did, in some cases by digging graves for cats, and I didn't understand his behavior. Now I do.
There were a few times in the reading that I wanted to restructure the content; where I got a little bit lost. Minor, in the overall; but still there. I don't think the organization interferes with the larger message: men grieve and respond to grief differently than women do (Duh, on one hand) and we don't acknowledge that reality in many of the support systems we offer.
If a man in your life is facing a loss and his behavior isn't making sense to you, read this book. Well worth the investment.
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